MetallMaus's Xanga

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:54:39 GMT

I hope to be friends.

Nicotine Could Help Schizophrenics Lead More Normal Lives

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:02:59 GMT

Smoking is still a very dangerous way to get the chemical, though

Smoking may cause cancer and brain damage -- and even damage electronics -- but one of the primary chemicals in cigarette smoke, nicotine, holds promise in improving the lives of those with the mental illness schizophrenia, according to a new medical study. Nicotine is a stimulant, similar to caffeine, but more potent. It is also a procarcinogen, as the liver converts it in small quantities to carcinogenic derivatives.

The new study, led by Ruth Barr, a psychiatrist at Queen's University in Belfast, Northern Ireland, looked at the effects of nicotine on patients' cognitive function, such as planning and memory in social and work settings. According to Dr. Barr, improvement cognitive function is the most critical need for those suffering from the disease. She states, "We know that patients that do better in the long term are those with good cognitive function rather than improvement in any other symptom."

Prior to the study only beneficial effects of nicotine being used to overcome smoking withdrawal symptoms were used. The new study, involved dosing the patients with nicotine. Describes Dr. Barr, "(W)e would ask participants to go without a cigarette for 12 hours and then provide a single dose of nicotine and measure cognitive function."

Intriguingly rather than just showing less symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, patients also showed improvement in brain function, including less impulsive behaviour and better levels of attention, both of which are unrelated to nicotine withdrawal. Dr. Barr says more research is needed, stating, "We don't yet know whether these effects persist or not and if those improvements have any impact on daily life, for example, remembering shopping lists or conversations."

A nicotine based patch or nasal spray could be used as a treatment. States Mohammed Shoaib, a psychopharmacologist from the University of Newcastle, not associated with the study, "Now, the rationale is to provide a more strategic treatment in the form of a skin patch or nasal spray to avoid the toxins in cigarette smoke. This is the way to go."

Cigarette smoking lowers life expectancy by approximately 10 years, due to it increasing the risk of heart disease, certain cancers, and brain damage. Nicotine is highly addictive, and, as mentioned, is a procarcinogen. One possibility is to develop schizophrenia drugs derived from nicotine -- so called "nicotine antagonists" -- which would bind to the same brain receptors (and have the same effect), but would not be converted by the liver into carcinogens.

source: dailytech.com

Hey Ma, if you could see me now, arms spread wide on the starboard bow:

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 10:08:40 GMT

The Everson museum of art in syracuse had an event called 60/60.. 60 artists in 60 minutes. i got an email about it saying they were still looking for artists, and i didn't think they would accept me, but i sent in an application and monday i got an email welcoming me as a participant to the event. what the artists were supposed to do is either create a piece in 60 minutes, or finish a piece in 60 minutes. so i just had this feeling about this one piece of mine that i should enter it. i was really nervous and was going back and forth between two pieces, i even took both with me, but i ended up using the one i had the feeling about.. just because i've got to go with my gut. As soon as i got there one of the other artists tried cutting me down.. but whatever i'm learning to be more resilient. all of the art was going to be raffled, and people got to pick the piece they wanted.i had more than 20 tickets in my bucket. and then they gave out awards, and i got people's choice for most emotional piece. i met some very nice people, and then my piece went to this woman who said she would give it to her grand daughter. so i guess i can say i'm an award winning artist now. i'm sorry my mom wasn't here to see it, or maybe she was.

p.s. i don't want to sound like a jerk.. but the woman who cut me down... didn't win an award.

Main Attraction at the Moccasin Circus
Private collection
Acrylic, Paper, and a Moth on canvas
2002-2009

My Mom Passed Away From Cancer May 12th

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:22:54 GMT

It's just unreal and i can't believe she's gone. we found out on april 12th that she had metastatic bone and liver cancer, and she passed away on may 12th. the decline was so quick.. and now it's just unreal sadness and helplessness and not knowing what to do.. there's so much stress.. i just want her here and she'll never be here again. i want to get as far away as humanly possible. May 17th was the calling hours, May 18th was the funeral.. this girl i had a falling out with four years ago actually came to the calling hours and didn't even say anything to me, she gave me this half hearted hug and then moved to my dad and started saying all these things, so i went to my friend who brought her and said why did you bring her? he said she's here for you and for your mom.. and i said no she isn't and i don't want her here.. she's one of those people who always imposes herself on situations to make them be about her.. it took some of the healing out of the calling hours for me. some people have no boundaries.. now her name is in my mom's memorial book for all eternity.. maybe i sound cold but that was just upsetting. she had no right to be there but whatever i have bigger problems.
In 2006 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and they thought that they got it all. she did everything right she took all the medicines she was supposed to and never skipped. she thought she hurt her back at work and started going to physical therapy and physical therapy was making it worse, and so was the chiropractor. and then the pain moved to her chest so knowing her history they did a bone scan april 11th and found cancer in her spine, sternum, ribs, femur and then did more tests and found it in her liver. the cancer in her liver wasn't a tumor, it was spider veins so they couldn't remove it with surgery. they tried doing radiation first because they thought that the cancer was more aggressive in her bones, and at first there was just a small spot on her liver, then the last week they realized that it was very aggressive in her liver. From the time she was diagnosed you could see the decline almost daily. i think some of it was the cancer and some of it was her not seeing an end to the cancer, because once you have metastatic breast cancer attached to your bones it's always going to be attached to your bones, from my understanding.
My Mom was always there for me, when i had a psychotic break in 1998 and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, my mom never saw me differently. My mom always stood up for me. My mom always loved me. I just wish i had shown her more how much i loved her.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 06:38:10 GMT

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 06:49:10 GMT

i passed my test, i didn't do as well as usual but i'm still going to have a B after the curve. all things considered this week, i did pretty well.
protected posting to follow - if you're not on my list and would like to be let me know.

i'm bored

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:45:44 GMT

i have 100 pages to read before my test thursday and i don't want to. i want to have the time to read it and not have to cram it all in in 3 days. ten dollars says i still get a B even though i'll be freaking out about failing all before and during the test.

I'm On A Boat, I'm On A Boat, Take A Good Hard Look At The Mother F-cking Boat

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:34:06 GMT

I had my second test in psychology tonight. i got another B. i'm glad that we grade them after we take them. i volunteered to help the professor with research as extra credit. New York state is cutting funding/programs for people with serious mental illnesses and he's giving a presentation about it some time this summer so i said i would help gather some information. i'm not in any programs right now but i'm interested in knowing what programs are being cut. i was really surprised i passed tonight, but the same thing happened last time, i freaked that i wouldn't know the answers, and i felt like i failed, but i got a good grade anyway. so i have a solid B average.
i started a new painting tonight but all i have so far is a solid color background, but i'm going to add to it so it isn't solid. i've seen my friend kirsten twice in the last 2 weeks which is awesome hi kirsten.
and still hoping to get that scholarship in july, but now i'm thinking, what if i majored in psych?maybe i could help people more that way. i love making art but i want to help other people also, and if i'm not doing something to help others, well then what am i doing?

My only regret is that i don't live in SPACE.

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 14:01:38 GMT

i'm really stressed right now. i have about 100 pages to read by thursday and paintings to finish up for a show in may. there's so much interpersonal drama going on and i honestly just want these people to leave me alone. nooooo i'm going to be 30 next month why do i feel like i've been time warped in a delorian back to 8th grade?
these people were less then kind so i've tried to go my own way and they're all passive aggressive on the facebook.
you can go your own wayyyyyyyyyyyy go your own wayyyy-ay-ayyyy
so let me go mine, memes.

something weird happened yesterday it was nice but weird and then creepy. i went to dunkin donuts to get an iced coffee and the guy gave it to me for free and then had a weird smile and i wanted to be like oh that was nice.. but i didn't know him? and then i kept thinking.. crap. what is in my drink.
but i tried to ignore it.

it shouldn't be snowing out.

EPIC WIN

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 03:29:57 GMT

i had my first test today for psychology class and the professor said i got one of the highest grades in class. i got a B+
so now i just have to work on getting an A next time, i'd like at least one before the end of the semester. i was so nervous after and during the test, and we corrected them in class. after we corrected them everyone was whispering about how the tests they graded had like 20 wrong (out of 40) and i was freaking out. i was freaking out so bad i was rubbing my forehead thinking i needed a cigar even though i've never had one. and then i got my test back and i only got 9 wrong. there was one guy in class who only got 5 wrong but it looks like my grade came in at least second or third. but next time i want first.

so all that to say.... epic win.
i feel awesome.